1. Have “the talk.”

Broach the subject of anal at the wrong moment, and your partner may think you’re unsatisfied with your current love life. Instead, wait until a time when you’re both relaxed—like after dinner, or after you’ve had great sex. “Make sure to let your lover know how happy you are with your intimate life,” Herbenick says. If your girl expresses interest in anal, tell her you want to hash out any concerns she may have. “This is crucial for both parties to be able to relax and enjoy the experience,” Herbenick adds.