Spank her. Tie her up. Pin her against the wall. Several of the women we polled privately wish for rougher sex.
“I want my husband to be more aggressive!” says one wife. “I’m not talking whips, chains, and 50 Shades, but a little rougher and more domineering.”
Some women fantasize about relinquishing control because they’re in charge all day long, says Arlene Goldman, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist and sex therapist in Philadelphia and author of The Secrets of SexualEcstasy. “Letting go and not making the decisions can be a turn-on,” she says.
Plus, the anticipation of not knowing what’s going to happen next is hot. “Sex is about the rush, and when you have the same partner for a long time, the giddiness and nervousness fade,” Goldman says. “It’s great to take risks and bring back the passion.”
Don’t spring porn-style domination out of nowhere, though. It’s notevery woman’s thing. Start by finding out what turns her on—then pay close attention to her reactions during the deed.
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