Spend time cuddling.

Start the process slowly. “Hold her and use close physical time before you make any overt sexual move,” Nelson advises. “From there you can work up to touching her breasts or genitals, stroking her arms and hair, and really helping her relax.” This process releases the hormone oxytocin, which helps her feel connected to you. If she senses that you’re rushing her and she’s not in the mood, you’ve blown your shot.