Sometimes, even the simplest of

Sometimes, even the simplest of phrases can piss a woman off. (“Calm down” comes to mind.) Why? Because words—however innocuous they may seem to you—always carry meaning to her: “[Women’s] brains are more wired for communication,” says Jaiya, a sex educator and author of Cuffed, Tied, and Satisfied: A Kinky Guide to the Best Sex Ever. “So words are going to have a little bit more weight to a woman than to a man.”

The upshot: That means your words can be a powerful aphrodisiac for your partner—a way to tap into her desire, any time of day. And there are some that work for almost every woman out there: “Words that help her feel wanted, desired, and sexy are going to usually universally trigger women,” says Jaiya. “They go from their ears down to their genitals,” she says.

Ready to memorize her sexual dictionary? Read on to start learning her language.